Sue who?

We all know that Americans sue other Americans for anything and everything. And so there are warnings and disclaimers on everything.

The disclaimer for medical ads is actually longer than the advert itself, and they speed up the voice so it sounds like The Chipmunks (Alvin, Simon... Theodore!). And medical ads are dodgy. For example:

{hot chick talking to camera}
"Having syphyllis isn't a death warrant, you CAN get treatment from your local clinic. Ask you physician now for {product name}."

And then the disclaimer:
{read as fast as you can in Alvin's voice}
"Only 7 percent effective, results not guaranteed, product has never been tested on humans, side-effects include headaches, bleeding gums, diarrhea, paranoia, heart-attacks and pre-mature death. Product should not be used by babies or children, women who are pregnant, who may become pregnant or who are busy birthing as we speak. In fact, this product is not fit for human consumption. No cash refunds, only exchanges for other drugs that are as dangerous, or even more dangerous as this product."

And then the disclaimer on the disclaimer:
"Any pre-mature deaths described above have not been conclusively linked to the use of {product name}, as stated by the Sao Paolo Institute of Madikill Doktors."

Anyways, check the warning on this box in our office:


Disclaimer:
The above text is loosely based on the truth, in fact, it is just huge exaggeration thereof. This is a parody, and not to be taken seriously.