Travel map

Chicago is a 2 hour flight from Denver, somewhere closer to the east coast.

It's located on the banks of Lake Michigan, one of the great lakes. I haven't seen the lake yet, haven't had time during the day, but it's like an ocean - it's flippen huge!

Chillin' in Chicago

Apart from working really hard today, nothing interesting has happened, no interesting pics, no interesting people, no nothing!

So here pics of my hotel, the Residence Inn by The Marriott. This room is bigger than our house almost, complete with queen sized bed, couch, TV, kitchen and walk in closet.


For all you "The Practice" fans: a spin-off series called "Boston Legal" is on here - starring James Spader (the controversial, immoral lawyer Alan Shore), the hot tsick with the British accent, Candice Bergan (of Murphy Brown fame), and the ultimate TV comeback king, William Shatner, as Danny Crane. It's fucking brilliant!

Danny Crane!

The Windy City

CHICAAAAGO, EYE EL!

I arrived at 7pm on Sunday night, caught an authentic cab ride into the city, complete with Pakistani cabby that didn't understand jack! I then met another Jozi colleague for dinner. He's based in Houston, Texas (where I was supposed to go originally). Quite strange, we've come half way round the world to meet for dinner!

Grafted 'til late today, then went for a walk downtown. If I thought Denver was cool, Chicago is just tha shit! This place is awesome with a capital "AWE". It's like Jozi, just on steroids, crack and ecs. Actually, JHB doesn't come close! And such highrise buildings, you can hardly see the sky, just skyscrapers all the way around. The Sears Tower is the tallest building in North America, I think. I work across the road from it. I'll try get pics of it tomorrow.

The night life is huge, the streets being littered with curbside restaurants and pubs. And fancy ones too.

And such shopping - tons of ladies of leisure (desparate housewives) with too much cash, and three boutique shopping bags in each hand. Prada, Vuitton, Polo, Ralph Lauren... they're all here!

Some of the tall ones - the mielie looking buildings are parking garages from the ground to about a quarter way up!


The John Hancock building (middle - ninety something floors) and the fountain at its entrance.


Just to make the girls jealous (that's if I have any girls that read this stuff). Louis Vuitton. Stylish! The church looking building is the water board or something. PREACH!


Inside one of the malls, a glass elevator like no other. It's goes up and down seven stories flippen quickly. Coming down, I almost had one of those "zero gravity" moments like when Sierra Lima Romeo took us for that spin that made me chunda!

G Man, this one's for you!

Couldn't help but laugh when I saw this in the supermarket!

BUMBLE BEE CHOONA!

G Man, I know you're laughing hard, buddy! A perfect match for your Ace Ventura double DVD set...

The Ashes

We played cricket just outside Denver on Saturday in The Ashes series. A once-off shoot out between ex-pats from England vs Oz. We played for the Poms. They're CRAP! We were their best players by a long shot. But the Ozzies caned us one time!

This happens once a year, and the Poms haven't won in 6 years or so. Really awesome to come all the way to the US to play cricket...

Mile High Club

Denver is known as the Mile High City, 5280 feet above sea level. That's their claim to fame. Don't wanna burst your bubbles, but Jozi is at 6000 feet, googled it just to make sure. But anyway, the numbers "5280" are used everywhere, pretty much as a branding and logo.

I asked a pretty young lass on the flight in if she would help me join the Mile High Club, she was "Sure, here's an application form, I work for the...." Zzzzzzzz. Obviously we weren't on the "same page".

But on Friday night we went and crawled the streets Lodo's (lower downtown), for hotspot. Popped in and out of a couple pubs, but ended in the kickest Mile High Club ever. Bash - an authentic hip-hop club, complete with gangstas, guns and G-Unit! Got searched twice at the entrance, once at the bar and at the entrance to the dance floor.

Never have you seen such grinding before. Ain't nothing like grinding an Odds skank. Here, after the song is over, you both light up, the girl wants to cuddle, but all the guy wants is to roll over and sleep.

I'm surprised I got out alive, didn't take too man pics, was worried I'd get 'jacked.

Travel map

Just a quick summary of my travels.

I flew in from Cape Verde (off the coast of West Africa) into Atlanta, Georgia. About an 8 hour flight. And then I caught the connecting flight to Denver, Colorado. That's another 2.5 hour flight.

I slept most of the way, so the flights were good I suppose. No jet lag whatsoever!

More rides

Cars are a lot more affordable here than in SA. The interest rate is at 5% I think.

Presenting the F360 Modena Spider in Ferrari rosso.


How's this for a pimp ride and vanity plate? CL five-hun'ed! "Cos if you wanna be cool, nigga you gotta akright, aaiight?" Complete with chromed out nineteens!!

SA plates never get this cool.

Worse than the metro pigs

Parking is a real bitch here.

Firstly, because I drive a huge assed ocean liner of a car, and secondly, traffic law enforement is real strict.

We moved into our apartment yesterday, and parked in the open lot instead of the underground garage since our access cards to the garage don't quite work yet. Arrived at the car this morn with this jammed in the door handle - my first traffic violation citation for parking in the lot without a permit.

It was written at 19h40 last night - who the fuck writes tickets at that time? For $65. That's almost R450!!! Not even Sgt Maria Mapaputsi makes that much cash after hours in Rivonia Road.

Spent a half hour looking for parking in the street this morning, EVERYWHERE's a no parking. And cars get clamped with a nice yellow boot, or towed depending on how pissed off they are.


Spiekops here are fucked up crazy, and like I said, worse than the metro pigs back home.

Denver 101: Sights & Sounds

Sights: Clubs 'n pubs.

Sounds: Good music, loud Americans.

Nightlife is really alive! The streets are really busy 'til late, with tons of peeps in the sidewalk cafes and restaurants. 16th Street Mall is where its at. It's a closed street (16th) with shops and restaurants running along the street.

Clubs are all in Lodo's (lower downtown), but we're still to sample such temptations. Check this place we found on the net, "Beyond Innocence: Bachelorette Party Headquarters"! SO GREAT! Just down the road from us. Just not sure if guys are allowed in there. I'll make a plan!



And the photo gallery. So watch this space, cos I'ma deshtroy this place come Friday!

Denver 101: Tastes

If you know me, you know that I luuurve food! Eat eat eat! And I've eaten a lot of it. Wezzo, you'd love this place too.

Snacks are about $2-$4. Restaurant meals are like $10. Generally, a meal at a restaurant will set you back 20 bucks (R130!!).

There's tons of chow downtown. This is my new favourite: a breakfast burrito. Scrambled eggs, crispy bacon and cheese in a wrap. Sounds (and looks) really muck! Kinda like a Joost's garage chicken surprise vetkoek. But its niiice!

Farewell gifts

Surprisingly, two of my doosest ex-bestfriends bought me "fuck off to the States already" gifts. One really cool, one, well, cool in other ways - it's the thought that counts, ain't it?

Co-Chump G-G-G-Uniiit bought me a scarf. That's quite gay by the way, then again, it's a Bok scarf, so that's a little less gay. I'm all for flying the flag, so I'll be wearing it on the Tri-Nations Saturday when we break them Kiwi fuckers. I'll try ignore the fact that its like 90 over here (over 30 degrees C!).

Won't watch the game though, unfortunately ESPN coverage isn't THAT wide, despite there being about a dozen ESPN channels. Wonder if there's ESPN 8 - The Ocho (if you can dodge the tax man, you can dodge a ball!) Sorry, private joke - I've been working for 4 days now, and already having tax issues with the IRS!!!

Shot dude, really cool, but not as cool as the pink cowboy hat, though!

And just as I left for the airport, Judgey-Poo handed me a gift bag (with a tear in his eye might I add). Contents? Blistex - ULTRA PROTECTION. I've never even heard of the stuff, and was so informed that this is a "use in case of emergency" type oitment, to be used on oral and/or genital blisters that I have, I mean, blisters that I may potentially acquire. Well, er, thanks buddy! Glad to see you care!



Dude, won't you fedex me another tube, I finished it on the flight over here. I, um, had like an allergic reaction to the, uh... um... scrambled eggs, yes, scrambled eggs on the flight!

Cricket anyone?

I have travelled something like 10,000 miles to the absolute other end of the earth, to a land where cricket is like a roach, just less dirrrty!

Anyway, I haven't played cricket since matric, when I cut self-professed fastest bowler in the school, "Lourens", for six! And yet, in this land where baseball rules the world, we've been invited to play in a game of cricket this coming Saturday morning, followed by tea, scones and cucumber sandwiches.

We were reluctant at first, until we found out that our inviter was a senior manager here. And we don't want to diss a senior manager, do we? So I'm off to go buy a box, or cup, as the Yanks call it - that's one item of sporting equip I REFUSE to share!!

Denver 101 – Sights & Sounds

Lesson number 2.

Sight: Lotsa 4x4s, SUVs and sports cars. With tinted windows. And chrome rims.

Sounds: Deep rumbles from big V12s. And deeper doef-doef from the gangsta mobiles.

Petrol, I mean, GAS is considered cheap here. About $2.60 a gallon. That’s almost 20 Ront a gallon. I have no idea what a gallon is. But picture a 10 gallon cowboy hat, and then a tenth of that. And that would cost you almost R20. Okay, whatever?!

And so everybody here drives real gas guzzlers. SUVs. Pickups. Truuurks. Call ‘em what you wanna. But they’re ALL automatic. And left hand drive. Nobody drives stick here! And they got all kinds. Hummers. Chevy Escalades. Lincoln Navigators. Ford F250s. Dodge Ramchargers. You name it, they got it! BIG is where it’s at.
Arriving at the airport parking lot, I couldn’t help but laugh. Rows and rows of SUVs and pickups.


Believe it or not, all these snaps were taken yesterday eve – we took a drive to Cherry Creek (a mall) for some dinner, and I just went crazy in the parking lot.





These were all parked outside this fancy pants restaurant.




I felt quite fancy too. I was there in my rental – my Chevy Monte Carlo. It’s like a boat with wheels. Seriously, it’s longer and wider than an S-class. Am I gonna pick up some chicks with this baby?! Cue Dr Dre, I can feel my pimp juice beginning to flow…


Chicks from the office actually took us for driving lessons. I almost wrote us off on the first corner I took cos I turned into the left hand lane into oncoming traffic (they drive on the right!!!). Sean, my colleague, was in his own car – he ran a red light, also drove into oncoming traffic, and scratched the bumper after some lady rolled backwards into him. And he left the car in Drive when he stopped to park it, so it rolled off while he had one leg out the car.

Oh, and how pimpiddy-pimp is this? We have valet parking at the hotel. Pull it up, leave it running, and run upstairs for that No 2 you’ve been holding in the whole day. But at $24 a night, that’s fucking dick-riculous!!!

So hope you are now 2 cents wiser, now that you know what rides are bouncin’ about…

Chicago, IL

I leave for the "windy city" on Sunday night. Chicago, Illinois. Right on the edge of Lake Michigan.

I've heard Chicago is awesome, tons of night life and just a buzzin' city.

And home to the greatest b-baller of all time, His Airness, Michael "Air" Jordan. G Man, tune in next week for twenty-three ways to make you jealous.

Organised flights and hotels today, the flight is gonna cost about $560!!! And it's only a 2 hour flight! Then again, what do I care? Diners card. Swipe it. Sign. Check luggage in. Grandpa 'til I get there!

Denver 101: Sights & Sounds

Morning class. Today we are going to learn a little about the town of Denver. Over the next few weeks I plan to teach you something about this city that I now call home.

Today's lesson will be an introduction to Denver, and some of it's landmarks. More landmarks will be covered later after I explore more.

Sights: Tall buildings.

Sounds: Cars and buses and tram bells and fire-engine sirens and "Shhhpare some change, buddy?"

Denver is in the American mid-west, about an hour's drive from the Rocky Mountains. Downtown is where its all at, the home of big business. It's fairly central, being a 2 hour flight to the wes' coast, and a 2.5 hour flight to the eas' coast.

The huge suspension bridge, and the park on the other side of the bridge. Hmmmm, that's all I know about it.


These are the buildings that I can see from my hotel window. There are tons of huge skyscrapers here, I'll get pics of the really big and fancy ones.


Okay, so that's a crappy lesson. If you learnt something from that, consider yourself really stoopid! The next lessons I plan should be much more fun and interesting!